Happily Ever After
common theme at the end of love stories in Hollywood is the concept of a couple overcoming some adversity in order to live happily ever after. One thing I’ve noticed is that “happily ever after” is never defined. These movies and society in general focus on a sensationalist “honeymoon” more than the lifelong marriage and factors that lead to a successful union. When we are looking to get married, it is really important to define what “happily ever after” is for us. I’ve noticed in society, for some people, “happily ever after” is getting married, buying a house, going on the occasional vacation, posting pictures on social media to show everyone how happy and successful they are, and in times where they don’t get a chance to travel or hit milestones, they will post #throwbacks, in order to push the perception of happiness and success. From the outside looking in, this trend is dependent on approval from society. This “happily ever after” may appear to the outside as genuine, but in reality puts a lot of pressure on the couple to put an outward image of happiness. For many people, who pursue the world and approval of others, posting pictures and showing the world their wife, their travels, and how happy they are is the goal. They are getting married for the honeymoon, to show the world how happy they are in the short term, and while pursuing their spouse, not much thought is given to their future, how their spiritual goals align, and how they want to raise their children.
As Ahmadi Muslims, it is essential for us to have our “happily ever after” be more than just a honeymoon and posts on social media showing the world how “happy” and “successful” we are. Our success is more than just vacations and fancy pictures. Our success is progressing towards our creator and meeting the purpose of our lives. In The Holy Quran, Allah tells us our purpose in Chapter 51:57:
وَمَا خَلَقۡتُ الۡجِنَّ وَالۡاِنۡسَ اِلَّا لِیَعۡبُدُوۡنِ
“And I have not created the Jinn and the men but that they may worship Me.”
51:57
The Holy Prophet (pbuh) says marriage is half of faith. It is an institution that can lead to immense spiritual progress if approached properly. Islam is a means to peace and contentment for both individuals and their nations. It gives a much more profound and everlasting “happily ever after.” In this life, when a Muslim marries another Muslim with the intention of progressing towards Allah together, they are better able to deal with the responsibilities that come with marriage, as a result of the important element of Taqwa in the relationship. The “happily ever after” in these marriages lasts eternally longer than those marriages who focus on showing everyone their worldly success. This happiness can last for all time as the couple doesn’t just focus on spiritual success in this life, but also focus on being accepted by God in the next, and as we know, the happiness of this world cannot be compared to the happiness of paradise.
The fruits of two Muslims marrying with the intention to progress towards God are not exclusive to the hereafter. By following the beautiful teachings of Islam, the couple will be more compromising, forgiving, and patient. The morals in their home will be stronger. Through Islam’s teachings children will have strong values and the couple will be better equipped to face any trials they encounter due to their trust in Allah. The fruits of two Muslims marrying for the sake of Allah is also enjoyed by their nation. In his speech to ladies at the 2008 USA Jalsa, Huzoor (aba) said that it is in the laps of women that the future of every jamaat and nation develops and prospers. Thus, by raising children of good values and strong morals which Islam instills, the nation in which the child resides and the Jamaat will both benefit. Hazrat Musleh Maud famously said:
“Nations cannot be reformed without the reformation of their Youth”
HAZRAT MUSLEH MAUD
The reformation that is being referred to here can save entire countries from the displeasure of God and sheds light on the importance of finding spouses who will raise righteous children who will change the fate of their countries.
When looking for a spouse, it is important to focus on the right aspects of our future partner. As Muslims, we have responsibilities we must shoulder, and the right spouse is essential to that cause. These responsibilities are to our parents, our future children, our country, our Jamaat, and God. If we marry someone for the wrong reasons and without genuine heartfelt prayers, it is not reasonable for us to assume we will succeed in our mission. But if we turn to God during this process of finding a spouse, and genuinely pray for a spouse that helps us meet our purpose of progressing towards our Creator, we are likely to have an everlasting happily ever after. When getting married, it is important to focus on more than just what you like, but what will enable you to meet these responsibilities.
